deus ex why zed » regret http://alphabete-noir.com The fake blog of a fake writer Wed, 28 Dec 2011 07:43:39 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=abc Re: Legs Kicking http://alphabete-noir.com/blog/2009/04/15/re-legs-kicking/ http://alphabete-noir.com/blog/2009/04/15/re-legs-kicking/#comments Thu, 16 Apr 2009 06:31:43 +0000 alphabete http://www.alphabete-noir.com/?p=387 Continue reading →]]> This is a poem from the well of my deepest regrets.

It’s funny how, when we go through our lives we find ourselves faced with any number of choices every day. Sometimes those choices are mundane, and some present themselves as choices that require some thought. Occasionally we have less time than we thought and there is a finite amount of time between the moment that decision becomes available to us and the occasion of a consequence of indecision that is soul-destroying.

I’m not going to go into specifics here; I’m trying to escape the beach tonight. If you are a fan of Stephen King perhaps you know his story “Sorry, Right Number” and if you don’t you should. I remember my old phone numbers. I wish I could call myself and generate that one grain of sand.

Regret feels like a hot, serrated knife and like a pair of strangling hands – my own. I die a little death every day because there were two I did not try to save. Though every regret isn’t so powerful, they really hurt no less. When you think you should do something, please do.

]]> http://alphabete-noir.com/blog/2009/04/15/re-legs-kicking/feed/ 0 Legs Kicking http://alphabete-noir.com/blog/2009/04/15/legs-kicking/ http://alphabete-noir.com/blog/2009/04/15/legs-kicking/#comments Thu, 16 Apr 2009 06:13:23 +0000 alphabete http://www.alphabete-noir.com/?p=385 Continue reading →]]> Legs kicking against the shore
I try to escape this beach of time
Its sands plague me with their grains
Each one reminding me of a moment
In my life and your life
Which intersected

But that is not the regret
Which I carry around daily
Like a soldier’s rucksack
Heavy with the equipment
Of survival

I had everything to get on without you
I had a map to find my way
A compass to stay on course
A canteen
A magnifying glass
It is the last which fails me

I search endlessly but I cannot find it
Discard my bag near the water
Hoping it will float away
As I swim toward the horizon

Here I find myself again
Legs kicking against the shore
Stirring up the traitorous sands
Making ripples in the surface of the clear, clear blue
I have to get away

I have to try to escape

I can’t stay here any more searching
For that one grain
That one grain that I cannot find
The vexatious tiny pebble of ancient rock
A member of those who number more than the stars
Even though there are so many the one mocks me
The one I can’t take back
(because it is)
The one that doesn’t exist
The one where I chose to save your life
The one where I chose to save your life
The one where I chose to save your life

World without end
I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry
World without end

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